LUCK

is an intriguing creature.

Does one create his own luck? Do does it come naturally to one?

If you dig deep into self motivation books like The Secret, luck will seem more like the rewards of positivity. That life and challenges are a matter of perspective.

Remember the half glass full/ half glass empty statement?

When I was younger, I was dead set that the word luck can never be mentioned in one breath with my name. I lose badly when playing cards. I never win anything in lucky draws. I will need to make tonnes of rounds in MV searching for a vacant parking lot. I bet if I start buying ToTo numbers for the rest of my life, I wont even come close to matching one number. So sad right.

Recent events had made me reevaluate the definition of lucky.

I look at the people around me. I hear stories of people's hardship.

I feel lucky.

Let's start with real friendships. True friends are hard to come by. But the friends I have made, from the moment I stepped into this world, my neighbours, my primary school friends, my high school mates, my uni mates, my colleagues, friends I've made during camps, activities and etc... they all have proven to be the greatest of pals. Till today and for the rest of my life, you guys can always count on me for help, an ear/ shoulder.....( although I know I've always been accused of ffk-ing) :)

Then there's family. My entire family ( mom, dad, sisters, and brother) are my pillar of strength. They love me so much that it's almost impossible to fathom. I'm grateful for the bond we share, the comfortable life I've led, the support and advice they have provided me in all aspects of my life ( yan sang dou lei from my mom, career discussion and talks with my dad, unrelenting support from my sisters and brother). They are the very reason I am who I am today and I love them so very much.

My other half...well, considering looks, I guess many girls out there beat me hands down. Demureness, humour, ...I dont know.. what else? I guess I'm just an ordinary girl. Really thankful for the relationships I have been through that had help me grow and learn. I do know what I want know.. finally, after months of wallowing in the gloom of quarter life crisis, I'd broken through the wall of obscurity. You know... it's true.

When you know, you know. There comes a time when there is no need for who and how and why. All the pieces come together and you are suddenly ready to take a giant leap. Amazing right? That's why I feel ..again.. lucky.

Then there's one's career. It's pretty hard to explain. I do try hard, really hard. Yet sometimes it's too good to be true. I'm blessed with great bosses. One after another. Great colleagues. Great support from the management. Great opportunities. Great benefits and compensations. ( Of course I'm sure many have better then I do, but I'm pretty contented. No, MORE than contented.)

If you watch SATC, take Charlotte, and you will know how i feel. Is this too good to be true. Is something bad lurking at the corner waiting to jump on me? I dont know.

I have stepped on some shoes, hurt some people, on occasions not be as good a person as I want to be.

Yet one after another, good things keep happening. Thank you for blessing me and please keep doing so..!!!

I really dont mind not winning stuff in lucky draws. :)

Wheee

ENOUGH!

No more moping. No more complaints.

I NEED A VACATION!

It's been.... months...years.... since I've gone anywhere fun, loosen my hair and ran free like a bird.

I AM SO EXCITED.

This calls for more shopping! Shopping for holiday outfits..byebye gloomy office wear.... Shopping for funky accessories... Shopping for rainbow colored ribbons and bags... Can I?

CANT WAIT CANT WAIT CANT WAIT CANT WAIT!

Roaring from the lion city...

Have been quiet for awhile now. It is really quite sublime, this place. They say a person's characteristic evolves every seven years. I'd say that mine perhaps transformed a little prematurely. This year marked many life transforming incidences. It is also a year that brings me face to face with lotsa adult decisions.

Decisions that a no longer about fun and frolicking.

Decisions that ascertain the path I will walk.. 10 years down the road, 20 years down the road, 50 years, 60 years down the road...
Decisions that will affect many people around me that I care plenty about.

The decision to cross over brings me mixed feelings. The opportunities it presents are boundless and thus I can't deny that I'm enjoying. Physical and mental strains that come together with the package is a definite. That, I can withstand.

Many say that 24 is still a small figure that is coupled with leeway for mistakes and experimentation. That, I agree. ( Btw, anyone read the book Now, Discover your Strengths- Marcus Buckingham? Pretty interesting, will write about it later). I guess with my fellow peers striving hard to path a high flying career and living life to the fullest, what I'm about to say next might grant me the label out of my mind. Occasionally, my mind does ponder that direction.

I guess I'm feeling burnt out. I do seek a fulfilling career and definitely want to continue pursuing what I have worked on for the past year. Too much hope and investment has been placed upon me to fail them. I still read my Forbes, Times and watch my business news religiously with the same umph and passion.

Yet deep inside, a tiny voice cries to be set free. All I want is really uncomplicated happiness. A life unadorned with drama and countless responsibilites to be answerable to. A moment to look back and smile at the things I have accomplished. And most importantly share it with a person who feels that same. I look forward to knowing there is someone and your own home to go back to everyday. To forgo all defences and share your vulnerabilities with someone who understand and whom you can trust. To go to bed each night knowing there is someone who loves you and whom you love beside you. To know that at each face of adversity, the dilemmas will be significantly reduced with his care and attention.

Simply, to experience each "boring and predictable" parts of your life with a person you love.

I still love my girls, my friends and especially my family. But the yearning for thrill, partying has diminished.

After a year(s) of going home to a room and living each day without a purpose. I am beginning to realise that ultimately, this is what I really want.

A heartfelt thanks to friends who have been my pillar of strength, friends who have given me their honest to heart advices, friends and family who pledge to love and support me and to you, who has shown so much understanding, maturity and love. Through this period of time, through your actions and words, I have noticed how much each of us, especially you have grown. My wishes and blessings to the road you have chosen to undertake.

The perplexity is gradually becoming clearer.... and in no time, things will get better.

Reading bug

I always feel so bored between stops on the MRT. I tried buying the papers each morning. But they isnt enough content to keep me occupied throughout the entire train ride. In the end, me bought a book.

It's a great book. Started off a little slow and draggy for me. When I almost gave up on it, the interesting parts began to pick up.

The reason I'm blogging about it...

I"M TERRIBLY UPSET WITH THE ENDING!!!

Talk about surprise endings. Why do authors sometimes try so hard to create a surprise element that is so unsatisfying. Hmpph. To think that after so much anticipation, it had to end this way. ANGREE!!

Nevermind. Off to buy another book. Hee.. Recommendations?

Insecurities

They can haunt even the most confident of individuals.

We look at the beautiful shell others carry in envy.And wish of achieving similar perfection.

Lately, many have confided their fear. Perhaps even more than those of the ordinary. Their fear of losing.The fear of being considered lesser. For they have more to lose then those who didnt have it in the beginning.

Then you start to overanalyze.Overthink. Make mountains over molehills.