Sunday, October 12, 2008

Roaring from the lion city...

Have been quiet for awhile now. It is really quite sublime, this place. They say a person's characteristic evolves every seven years. I'd say that mine perhaps transformed a little prematurely. This year marked many life transforming incidences. It is also a year that brings me face to face with lotsa adult decisions.

Decisions that a no longer about fun and frolicking.

Decisions that ascertain the path I will walk.. 10 years down the road, 20 years down the road, 50 years, 60 years down the road...
Decisions that will affect many people around me that I care plenty about.

The decision to cross over brings me mixed feelings. The opportunities it presents are boundless and thus I can't deny that I'm enjoying. Physical and mental strains that come together with the package is a definite. That, I can withstand.

Many say that 24 is still a small figure that is coupled with leeway for mistakes and experimentation. That, I agree. ( Btw, anyone read the book Now, Discover your Strengths- Marcus Buckingham? Pretty interesting, will write about it later). I guess with my fellow peers striving hard to path a high flying career and living life to the fullest, what I'm about to say next might grant me the label out of my mind. Occasionally, my mind does ponder that direction.

I guess I'm feeling burnt out. I do seek a fulfilling career and definitely want to continue pursuing what I have worked on for the past year. Too much hope and investment has been placed upon me to fail them. I still read my Forbes, Times and watch my business news religiously with the same umph and passion.

Yet deep inside, a tiny voice cries to be set free. All I want is really uncomplicated happiness. A life unadorned with drama and countless responsibilites to be answerable to. A moment to look back and smile at the things I have accomplished. And most importantly share it with a person who feels that same. I look forward to knowing there is someone and your own home to go back to everyday. To forgo all defences and share your vulnerabilities with someone who understand and whom you can trust. To go to bed each night knowing there is someone who loves you and whom you love beside you. To know that at each face of adversity, the dilemmas will be significantly reduced with his care and attention.

Simply, to experience each "boring and predictable" parts of your life with a person you love.

I still love my girls, my friends and especially my family. But the yearning for thrill, partying has diminished.

After a year(s) of going home to a room and living each day without a purpose. I am beginning to realise that ultimately, this is what I really want.

A heartfelt thanks to friends who have been my pillar of strength, friends who have given me their honest to heart advices, friends and family who pledge to love and support me and to you, who has shown so much understanding, maturity and love. Through this period of time, through your actions and words, I have noticed how much each of us, especially you have grown. My wishes and blessings to the road you have chosen to undertake.

The perplexity is gradually becoming clearer.... and in no time, things will get better.

7 comments:

seahorse27 said...

Giving you a beary hug..
Whether you're a believer or not, this is a promise of God to humans..
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Hooi said...

i think you're writing a very good article here, i think you're someone emotional too. Anyway, nice to meet you here.. and glad to get u back in contact. =)

~charng said...

seahorse27 - girl, thanks so much! I am really starting to believe that too. Likewise, can see that you are doing great. Have been awhile since we met up ya.....How are you doing?

Hooi- hello friend! yeah, im pretty emo..... really surprised to meet you back here. Do give me a call when you come here visiting ya!

Hooi said...

how to give you a call?
Do I have your number? haha~!!

seahorse27 said...

I'm doing fine. Very nice to hear you roar all the way from the south :P Come back during Christmas.. join Christmas @ The Beach with your friends...

~charng said...

hooi - hey, drop me a mail at charngyee@yahoo.com :P Will give you my number...

seahorse - Will do will do... I'll arrange to be back home during Xmas.!

Anonymous said...

A least you are ROARing, everything will be in the right flow. Dont worry much k :)